You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
