Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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