You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
whose parrot is this?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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