I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
