i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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