is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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