i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
