She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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