idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
