Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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