I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
