Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
