Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
