I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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