I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
