Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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