Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
