People with herpes should wear stickers.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
