if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
