I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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