Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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