he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
