I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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