Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
