I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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