all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
