took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
