If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
