Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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