Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
