good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
