My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
