There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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