We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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