I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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