I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
