he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
