My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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