i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
