I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize