I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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