At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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