was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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