Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Let's get the cat blown out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
