She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
