It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
