I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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