I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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