My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
