.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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