Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
PANTIES FOUND
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