Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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