Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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