All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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