you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
