i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
