i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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