It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
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We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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