think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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