covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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