too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
