there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
