What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I can feel your judgement through the phone
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
