The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
wrigley field is MILF paradise
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
